Perhaps you have a nail-biting decision to make, or you're feeling indecisive about things. In this blog, I’ll share top tips to help you get clear on how to make a decision that sits right and feels aligned with you. Firstly, it's important to recognize that only you can decide, as sometimes we want someone else to decide for us, especially if we are torn in between two choices. A hard but helpful piece of information that I received was to take responsibility for your actions. This has helped me understand and measure both the power I have to create the life I wish and also to realize that sometimes, yes, this is of my own making, and I am responsible. Often, I work with people who self-sabotage, and I have seen this in myself, whether it's fear of aiming high or doubting our capabilities.
Here are some of my top tips to make decisions that sit right:
- AVOID NOT DECIDING
Letting yourself off the hook to not decide, which is also a decision, could very well be a good choice. Decision-making is a process, and the more at ease we can be with ourselves, the clearer and more aligned the decision will be. So, if it helps, you can start by giving in to not knowing, creating space, letting the answers come, not rushing into anything, and that is okay. This often creates room to figure out what might be getting in your way and where you can gather more information or support.
- CHANGE YOUR SPACE
Changing your environment, whether it is a walk or moving to a different working space to get into a different headspace, can be a real source of support and facilitating new thinking. It is invigorating to our body and mind when we get into the fresh air and it gives us a break from feeling stuck in thinking, even if it's for 10 minutes, to physically get out from where we currently are ruminating.
- RELAX YOUR MIND
Rather than being in a space of scarcity and need, allow yourself the space of desire, as in asking yourself, what does my soul deeply desire today? What can I do today to support myself? Perhaps it is to pursue a relaxing self care activity. You are allowed to do this, and it supports us in being gentle with ourselves.
- SPEAK YOUR THOUGHTS OUT LOUD
I have found immense power in sharing things out loud as it somehow frees us from having a victim story. Share the load with a friend, coach, mentor, peer, therapist, or anyone you can lean on, to tap into your support network. They needn't say anything or take responsibility, as we must discern what is right for us. However, those that are professional trained can help you effectively navigate important decisions, and those that know us well personally can often serve as a powerful mirror to share what we need to hear the most.
Start offloading by writing down your free-flowing thoughts without the need for them to make any sense. This act can support your brain by freeing up space. You can do the old pros and cons table; however, I usually start by sharing what I love and what I am passionate about to help remind myself of what is important to me.
- FIND YOUR WHY
Remind yourself of what you enjoy in your life, what you would like to bring about, and reflect on your values and what is important to you. This supports your heart in feeling content and grateful, rather than in a state of worry. Whether you have goals or not, ask yourself, "Where do I see myself in 6 months or a year?" or "Where would I like to be in the future generally?” can help start a trail of breadcrumb steps. If you are stuck, you can play with the possibilities for your future and clarify what your vision is rather than how exactly you may get there (which can be a secondary step). Write this down in your journal to support your ability to open-up and improve your clarity.
Start by getting into a calm state with balanced breathing, which consists of equal breaths of 6 or 8 seconds, in and out, for 2 minutes. Envision yourself going through with the decision and see yourself in the situation-- what is going on, how is it feeling, what are you doing? These are all questions to ask yourself. You can also imagine yourself with the other option of the decision and ask yourself again, how does it feel?
- BE OPEN TO AND SEEK SUPPORT
Having a guide to walk you through the process can be beneficial. What has helped me the most has been Mbit and Reiki.
Multiple Brain Integration Techniques (Mbit) is a relaxing guided process, where you search within to check what your head thinks, your heart feels, and what your gut truly hungers for. You will be surprised at this process; it is amazing what wisdom we have available from within. Mbit also supports us if we feel our head wants one thing, but our heart wants something else. Through this process, we align our brains from within, so internally we feel more soothed, clear, and aligned. You can ask specific questions to enhance the overall connection you have with yourself.
Reiki is a peaceful and relaxing way to receive support from a greater source using oracle cards and energy. This helps in removing blocks and can reveal fresh energy and insights into what could support you.
Ultimately, decisions can work themselves out, so know that we can always change our minds or learn for the next decision if it doesn't go well. The key is relaxation, self-care, doing what you love, revisiting your values, and using your mind to visualize, which will all support you in becoming clear. Test out these methods and see what unfolds for you.
Reach out if you need any support with this!
Holistic Coach specializing in decision making & soothing overwhelm.